Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Recap

We've sufficiently greatened the profits for the dentists in our area tonight - and I'm thrilled to say that 97% 0f the candy is gone! I've got something to finish before I go to bed tonight - so I'm keeping this short, but full of pictures. Enjoy!

We're nothing if not procrastinators - this is what we did tonight when we got home from work.

Our "Bubba" pumpkin is an original John creation...

Here he is - in all his glory!

Finally, this is little "L" of Right Foot Forward's family... isn't she the CUTEST pirate you've ever seen?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday Night Frenzy

Tonight is our second small group meeting, and I've now rushed around to get the house presentable for company again... and dinner is heating in the oven... so I thought I'd sit down and write my post for today.

I might not get another chance because the likelihood of me wanting to write at 9 tonight is not great - I'm going to want to put my feet up and watch Grey's Anatomy or something other than break out the computer. Sorry guys - I love you, but I'm just keeping it real.

I'm sort of worried about dinner because it's still frozen in the middle after baking for a hour - I meant to pull it out of the freezer on Tuesday night, but forgot about it until last night... so I'm working with a handicap. (my brain) Hopefully it'll come together - or we'll be having our Bible study before we eat.

I'm so proud of John - he's really doing a lot of prep work for each meeting, and is doing a great job at leading our group. I hope that everyone in the group gets a lot out of the study - it's a 6 week study about the Love Chapter from the Bible... we watched the first session on Sunday so he could prepare, and it was really good!

I'll be back tomorrow with more...

As an update on my regimen:
Water - check (and then some!)
Food Diary - check
Workouts - check (3 already for the week - plan on more)
Vitamins - check

So I'm feeling pretty good about things this week - we'll see what happens on the weigh in... I'd be happy even if I just lost those mysterious couple of pounds that showed back up earlier this week - I don't know where those keep coming from! ARG! I'm so ready to kiss the 230's goodbye forever!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Somebody's Hero

I know that there is typically a day set aside to honor Moms, but I don't think that it's possible to honor them too much - and I was moved when I heard this song come across my iPod the other day.



There aren't many words that I could write that would make a better tribute than to tell you that even if your kids don't tell you often enough - you are making a HUGE impact on their lives, and the little things you are doing right now... will be in their memories for a lifetime.

On their behalf, I thank you for all that you do. (Yes, even for telling them "No" and making them clean their room.)

This sentiment goes to the Dads out there that are doing their part too!

Random Thoughts

Here are just a few things popping around my head right now.

Is it possible for your hair to be cold?
I am so cold natured these days that I’d swear that even my hair follicles are cold. Just this morning, John found it hilariously funny that just to open the back door for the dogs to go outside – I had to have a leather coat on AND a blanket wrapped around my legs… and it was only 40 degrees!

On this note as well, can I just do a blanket apology to all of the people out there that I used to roll my eyes at… until I started losing weight after my surgery – I thought you all were a bunch of wimps when you complained about feeling cold? I 100% get it now, and I’m so sorry… it is real and miserable to deal with.

My parents used to get so frustrated with me for say the first 29 years of my life when I’d never wear a coat… that shouldn’t be a problem, EVER again!

Is it possible to drink too much water?
I might make it to like 12 glasses or something today, and that just seems wrong. It’s contributing to the above problem with feeling indescribably cold, AND I’ve got this weird sort of drunk feeling right now.

Okay to that end, it’s been MANY years since I’ve had an adult beverage – but I can’t describe this slightly dizzy, slightly altered depth-perception feeling any other way at the moment.

Is it possible to work with people that pass too much of the “blame” to others?
Wait, this one I know… I’d have to say a resounding yes, but maybe others would categorize it differently.

Seriously, is it too much to ask for someone to take responsibility for their portion of a project? Why should it be my problem to follow up with you about something that you are supposed to be doing?

I’ve been told several times now that I should be following up with people about this project or another, but honestly if the deadline is yours… why wouldn’t you do your part to make it happen – how is that my problem? You want letters to go out by Tuesday at 10 – no problem – but shouldn’t you make it a priority to sign them by then? I’ll do my part to get them to you in a timely fashion, but work with me here.

I just wish that people would take responsibility for their actions once in a while, and don’t make everything someone else’s problem. If I’ve been asked to do something – I know that it’s expected of me to complete my project by the deadline… if I’ve had to give someone their part of said project, and they don’t respond to me by the deadline – a certain part of the “blame” is on them too.

Is it possible for me to be anymore excited to meet with my personal trainer friend (Vicki) on Saturday?
I don’t think so. I’ve already warned her that I’m going to take notes on everything she says to pass on to my internets. She fully expected that, but I can’t wait to hear some of her information and try something new – of course I’m going to see how things go and double check things with my doctor when I see him on December 4th for my 1 year surgery follow-up visit… but nothing can possibly hurt at this point – my weight loss can’t GET any SLOWER!

When do you know if you are getting any benefit from vitamin B12?
I’m seriously thinking about asking to be put on the shots when I see my doctor in December, because I don’t think these little tablets are helping one bit. I guess we’ll see what my vitamin levels are at that point, but seriously, could it hurt?

I think these are the top items rolling around in my head right now – at least items that I’m willing to share with ya’ll right now. I’m forming my list of questions for my doctor’s appointment, and trying to figure out what things I can try to do right now to maximize my weight loss between now and then. I’d love to be closer to 100 pounds lost… my appointment is about 20 days past my actual 1 year anniversary… so we’ll see.

I'll be back later with some stats, and a tribute to some very special people out there.

(I'm totally cracking up right now because I spell checked this before posting, and obviously Blogger doesn't like contractions!)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Eyes on the Prize

My titles are getting goofy, but in some small way it makes me feel like I'm making progress on this journey... but it's a tough one! Is it possible for your own body to try to sabotage you?

It must be - I felt great until time to come home and workout - then BOOM... major headache! Well, that's not getting me down this time - so I pushed through it and opted to push myself even further by racing the little computer guys on the treadmill.

I beat them, and managed to burn 310 calories in the process. I walked just over two miles in 37 minutes, and I feel pretty good about that workout.

My calories are within range, and I feel good about that too... I drank all my water, and took my vitamins too. That means I've met all my goals for the past two days... we've got to keep this train moving in the same direction tomorrow, and then Thursday is my day to miss working out.

With small group there isn't enough time to get in a workout too - but I'm going to try to get one in every other day of the week.

On Sunday night, we watched the movie Maid of Honor with Patrick Dempsey... it was really cute! We enjoyed it... now our stack of unwatched movies is down to: The Waitress, Leatherheads, and Catch & Release. We'll try for getting another one in this weekend too... it was nice to get everything done for the week and then relax with John for a movie.

New Feature

If you're getting an email invitation to read this blog - start here and work your way forward.

I decided that it was time to bring this blog into the next century - or maybe myself... and I know a few of my readers haven't embraced the idea of Google Reader... so if that isn't your thing, and you'd like to get daily update emails with new posts - I've got the answer for you!

In the top right corner of the page there is a place for you to submit your email address, and through a lovely program called Feedburner - you will be sent an email each morning with my new posts.

The email will include anything that I've posted since the previous email - so it will catch everything. I hope that this helps some of you find a convenient way to keep up with how things are going with me, and anything else I might be talking about.

I've added the same feature to Kim's Cuisine so you can get the same emails with new recipes that have been added over there. If anyone hasn't been checking that out - there are lots of fun Halloween things being posted!

I'll check back in later with some information about workouts and daily reports on food intake... things of that nature. I've sent an email to my resident personal trainer buddy with some questions that I've had about my food intake versus calorie burn - so I'll try to share her insight when I get it.

You'll also notice that I moved my weight loss ticker, and wrote a real live description of the blog... if there is something I missed in my description - please let me know. (as long as it's nice!)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Staying the Path

If you haven't read yesterday's post - start here.

I must have been so moved yesterday by God's grace that I couldn't shut my head off last night - I stayed up until well after 2 thinking... tossing and turning. Then up again at 5 to get the week started.

I did really well with my eating today - I managed to keep myself away from Starbucks - on a day when caffeine would have really made all the difference... but God put a big line of cars in the drive thru - and I took it as a sign that I needed to just push on.

My calorie count is within my range, and I'm happy with it - I did have some hunger issues this afternoon, but I made the best choices I could and kept on moving.

I got all my water in today, which I think is a big step in the right direction - it certainly is the first thing to go when I start falling off the wagon.

My workout today was less than desirable, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it - I did the best I could, fought through the pain, and stuck with it for 30 minutes. I burned 220 calories, and normally I'd fight for 300+ calories... but the pain was too much for me today.

I see it as progress in that at least I was able to do the things on my list from yesterday, and even though I didn't do them to the best humanly possible - but if we started everything doing the best that human can possibly do... we wouldn't have anywhere to challenge ourselves to grow, right?

I started off my day this morning at the office by listening to Never Let Go a few dozen times - I hope that the words to that song stay fresh in my mind for many days and weeks to come.

Now my friends, I must take my bleary eyed self to bed.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

On My Knees

I have a serious confession to make to you guys today... those that have been with me for a while know that I am truly my own worst critic, and sometimes put a little too much pressure on myself to meet goals/deadlines.

This morning when I did my weigh in, I was up a couple of pounds... and I honestly had a moment where I wondered why I put myself through this surgery and all of the emotional twists and turns that have come with it if it wasn't actually going to change my life for the better.

In moments like that - I tend to want to retreat from the world and hide from whatever the perceived failure is... and this morning that meant that I really didn't want to go to church. (It's okay - I'm inviting my Pastor to read this... so stay with me here...)

I walked into the YMCA this morning like I have many other Sunday mornings, and this was to be the morning that I first heard God speak to me... it was subtle at first, but when I sat back and added all the minor occurrences together - it was truly a message from God.

As I sat there doing my Sunday morning routine of folding the programs for our service, one of the men from the church, Steve, came up to me and asked me how much weight I've lost. Now, I know that my fellow weight loss surgery buddies have had this happen a lot, and honestly it has happened to me too - but this was different. I don't think that Steve even knew that I have been trying to lose weight, and I know that he didn't know about me having surgery...

It just struck me as different - this wonderfully nice man that I know from Sunday mornings - sought me out to ask that question, and then to tell me that I look great. On the very morning that I was feeling the most down about this process that I have been and continue to go through.
It was as if God was speaking through Steve to tell me to look at how far I've come, and to renew my strength to carry on with the rest of the journey.

The morning continued, and we started our service. This morning, Justin (our Worship Pastor) chose one of my favorite worship songs to sing. Take a moment to listen to the words of this song, and think about the powerful message that can be taken from the lyrics.




For more reflection here are the lyrics to the song you heard above:


Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back I know You are near


And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?


Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go Lord,
You never let go of me


And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth


Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You


Once again, God spoke to me through this song this morning to remind me that I'm not alone in this struggle - he is with me through the whole process, and it is my pleasure to tell everyone that I've only made it this far in the journey through him.

I can't even put into words how timely this song was for me this morning. I am caught in the storms of my life, and sometimes I forget to realize that with God - I need not fear - he'll never let go.

The final time that the message to me from God came through this morning was in the message that Pastor Kevin gave today. We've been going through a series called "40 Days of Community - What on earth are we here for?" which has lead us through the book of Acts.

Today's portion of our series was titled: An Unstoppable Force - we read through Acts 5:12-42 (NIV) , and we took some notes - this is where I applied it to my weight loss struggle. (I also understood it in the context that Kevin was presenting it - as for our church to be an unstoppable force)

What did they do?
They were obedient in adversity.
They chose to obey God rather than men.
They rejoiced in their suffering.

What we should do:
Do what God calls us to do even when it is hard.
Care more about what God thinks than what others think.
Rejoice even when things are difficult.

(there were more bible verses studied, but I'm trying to condense this as much as possible.)

This is how I think this applies to this particular struggle in my life - I think that for so long I've worried about what others think about my weight, because we all know what pressure society puts on us being thin and beautiful... but God thinks we are all beautiful - after all we are exactly how he created us to be, right?

I want to do what God is calling me to do, and what he is preparing for my future (I desperately pray that he's preparing me to be a mother)... and in that I need to rejoice in my struggles because if this was easy - I wouldn't be learning anything, right?

So my lovely internets - today has renewed my resolve to continue down the path:
  • My workouts are going to be meaningful.

  • I'm going to make a conscious effort to watch what I'm putting in my body - no more mindless snacking.

  • I'm going to drink water instead of anything else - when and if I drink my full 64 ounces in a day - then I can have some iced tea.

  • I'm going to thank God for everything I have accomplished in the journey thus far, and for every new milestone that comes in the future.

  • If things haven't changed dramatically by mid-November - I'll be going for my 1 year surgery follow up and I'm going to ask Dr. Weinstein every question I can think of!

  • Above all - I'm going to use my knowledge and tools to the best of my ability for God, my family, my friends, and myself.

  • I'm going to actually start believing and living like my body is a temple.

I welcome everyone that is reading this, and everyone that will read it at some point to hold me accountable for these commitments, and if you hear me struggling along the way - remind me of this post and this day.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Sleepy

Well, even though I haven't really done much today - I'm exhausted. We started the day by going to early vote - and there were a TON of people. From there we headed to Wal-Mart for our weekly grocery shopping... came home and took a nap. (Sad, I know... but it felt GREAT!)

I spent a good part of the afternoon making chicken spaghetti for our small group meeting on Thursday - no worries - it's in the freezer waiting to be finished on Thursday evening.

Renee and her family came over to watch the Aggie game tonight - and while the boys watched the game, we went to Hobby Lobby for a little shopping fun. We left little L with the guys, and pretty much bought nothing - I got a few scrapbook supplies, but other than that - we just enjoyed wandering around for an hour and a half.

I dumbly didn't eat dinner - so instead I snacked on junk and am now feeling a little yucky - but of course too full to eat anything that would make for a real meal... so I'm a little nauseated. It's nothing that a good night's sleep won't cure, but is just a stupid mistake.

The Aggies won their game, and now John is flipping through the other games that are on television... I think it's time for me to go on to bed.

Friday, October 24, 2008

TGIF

Oh my gosh, today was a complete struggle... I did not want to be productive at work - on any level! I should have known the day was going to be like that when I woke up and every bone in my body ached. You'd have thought that I'd run a marathon last night or lifted the weight of the world on my shoulders... but I did nothing of the sort.

It's entirely possible that I slept wrong... I know that I spent a good portion of the night alone in the bed with a 20 pound dog - who somehow takes the entire bed... and I end up balancing my body on the smallest sliver of mattress imaginable. I don't exactly know how this happens because it certainly doesn't start out that way - and I don't even know that it has happened until it's too late... the pain and stiffness has already set in. Quite honestly, I don't even always know when she gets in the bed - she's super stealth like that.

John was off today - so naturally he took advantage of Thursday night football once our small group meeting was finished... so there is no telling what time he actually came to bed, but whenever it was - it didn't effect any change in the animal situation.

So, all pain and suffering aside - I procrastinated in a major way at the office, but found a couple of new blogs to read... so it wasn't a total loss of a day. I could have done some internet shopping to figure out what I want to put on my Christmas list - but there again - that would have been productive.

I am absolutely thrilled to have a weekend that is relatively unscheduled... I can't remember the last weekend like this - I think it might have been way back before Hurricane Ike came to town. The only really firm plans at this point are to make chicken spaghetti for some freezable meals as well as our small group meeting next week, and early voting tomorrow morning. Other than those two items - the next two days are an open book.

I've got potential plans with Renee to do some shopping, and there is a football game tomorrow night that we've got a couple of possibilities for time with friends... but other than that - nothing... Sunday is completely open after church is finished - and that is the most beautiful thing EVER! I'm going to take a nap or something really fun and relaxing!!

We'll see what comes along the way that I can write about for entertainment.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

30 for Thursday

Today I'm getting ready for small group, and really just enjoying life for what it is... so in honor of that I thought I'd share 30 things that make me happy. They won't be in order, but all of them make me smile.
  1. A God that loves me and is always there to help me along the way.

  2. A wonderful husband that is incredibly sweet, loving, and supportive.

  3. Parents (Mom, Dad & Lynne) who have taught me so many things about life.

  4. 3 sisters (Cathi, Cindy, and Gabby), brother (Josh), and sister-in-law (Susan) who are wonderful and entertaining.

  5. 2 brother-in-laws (Kevin and Robert) that couldn't be better choices for my sisters. Also an almost brother-in-law (Ryan) that fits the same criteria.

  6. Our 5 nieces (Megan, Brittany, Taylor He., Taylor Ha., and Brooklyn) that amaze me everyday and are also incredibly entertaining.

  7. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins that always make life interesting.

  8. Friends that are like sisters/brothers to me in every way... I have some of the most incredible people around me! (umm there are too many to list, but if you're reading this - you probably are on my list!)

  9. My friends' children - I enjoy so many of them!

  10. 2 dogs that crack me up every single day.

  11. Being members of a wonderful church & small group... going to Cypress Family Fellowship is truly like going home!

  12. Starbucks non-fat Mocha with no whip - enough said.

  13. The show Worst Week because no matter how bad my day was... the main character in the show's day was worse!

  14. A steady paycheck that allows me the freedom to do so many things that I couldn't without it.

  15. Writing a blog that is a serious creative outlet, but also a place to process the crazy journey that my life can be.

  16. Reading all the blogs of friends, family, and fellow weight loss surgery patients - you all provide me with entertainment and encouragement to keep going everyday!

  17. Searching for and finding new recipes to try out.

  18. Blankets fresh out of the dryer... I never truly appreciated them until I started losing weight!

  19. A good book that catches my attention from the first page.

  20. A good magazine. (Real Simple, Cooking Light, Redbook, and Self are my favorites - but the new Food Network one seems like it could be a good addition!)

  21. Craft Fairs

  22. Leisurely shopping with people I love.

  23. Being able to shop for smaller clothes.

  24. The feeling that I get after a workout is completed - and I've been able to work through the mind games that I play with myself to try to prevent said workout. (Some days are really a struggle!)

  25. Massages, Manicures, Pedicures, and Facials... I love to be pampered!

  26. Curling up and watching a good movie

  27. Girls Night Out

  28. The holidays

  29. The hope of becoming a mother someday... (pray that 2009 is our year!)

  30. Scrapbooking


It is entirely possible that I missed some things, but today - the thought of these 30 things make me smile.

What makes you smile? Post a similar list and leave a comment so that I can see your list too!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Growth Group

Well, we are in full swing getting ready for tomorrow night - we'll be serving dinner for our group members, getting to know each other - and starting what will hopefully become a meaningful Bible study for all of us.

I have been working on getting the house picked up for the meeting, and am getting quickly to the point of not caring anymore - because I'm exhausted from work. I think that by the time the meeting starts - we'll be doing well enough... and who cares if the house is a little messy if it smelled like lasagna, right?!

John has been working hard on planning our icebreakers and getting supplies ready for the actual meeting - we've set up a private blog for our group members so that I can post announcements and prayer requests... I'll be sending the invitations to our group peeps sometime tomorrow.

In the meantime, we did some searches online for different ice breakers - and came across this list of things not to do... honestly - these are just plain wrong, but funny anyway... so I thought I'd share a little humor with you on this Wednesday evening.

The Top 10 Worst Small Group Icebreakers

10. Share the worst sin you’ve ever committed.

9. If you were God, who would you punish first?

8. Which person in this group do you think needs to find Jesus the most?

7. Which people at your church do you wish would find a different church, and why?

6. If you could erase any verse out of the Bible, which one would it be?

5. Share the juiciest piece of gossip you know so we can pray about it.

4. If you could have anything from your neighbor’s house, what would it be?

3. What’s your favorite of The 10 Commandments to break?

2. If you could change anything about your spouse, what would it be?

1. If you could commit any sin and get away with it, what would it be?

As you can tell - they obviously go against everything that small groups are about, but man did I laugh when I read it. We'll be using some ideas found from the same website, but are the top 10 things that you SHOULD do.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Suburb VS City

Every morning I am struck with how different life is between the area that I live and the area that I work. On just about every level the two places are different, and there are only 25 miles between the two.

Technically, they are part of the same city - because we'd all say that we live in Houston if asked by someone that isn't familiar with the area... but that is where our similarities take a drastic turn.

I'm struck every morning at the number of people out and moving in our suburb of the city. We leave the house at 6:00 in the morning to get to work by 7. (okay 7:15 in my case!) The traffic on the road at that time is mind boggling! But when we arrive at John's office - it's like this side of town is still sleeping.

You rarely see people in our area out walking their dogs or running... I see that a lot in the evenings, but not so much in the morning. You'd have to get up at 4 to get that done and get to work on time!

Over by my office though - it's such a different story... it looks like people are just barely waking up and starting their day with a workout or walking their dog. In some cases they even do their workout run to the local Starbucks and pick up their morning java before going home to get ready for the daily grind.

I guess priorities are different - when you live close to your job, you are probably much more flexible with the timing... I live an hour away from work - so for me - it's all about getting in, getting my work done, and getting home. Especially now that I have other priorities like small group meetings, workouts, and general relaxation that have to be completed when I get home.

Even within my own office - my boss for instance doesn't even get out of bed in the morning until 7:30! By the time she wakes up - I've been up for two and a half hours, and at work for 30 minutes! Talk about a different lifestyle...

There are other differences as well - politically, environmentally, socially.... we're vastly different.

I guess for the first time in my life - I feel like I'm the abnormal one... and it's a product of being in this area at my specific job. I've always considered myself extremely (boring) normal... I am married, want to start a family, am close with my extended family, spiritual, and I graduated from college - in most of my circles everyone else has done the same things and have the same values. It's just in my current work environment - I don't have anyone that is even remotely similar... I'm sure this is another learning moment that God has placed me in, but where do I start?!

Monday, October 20, 2008

It's a Monday

It's interesting to me how blindly people will follow what they are told by the mainstream media. I don't know how normal John and I are, but we've been following financial rules set out by Dave Ramsey in his Financial Peace University course for about two years now.

That being said - we budget every dollar we make, save for big purchases, work toward paying off our debt... and really are doing MUCH better than we used to be doing. Christmas is not a problem for us because we've been putting money aside for the holidays all year long. We don't have to stress because we will only spend the cash that we've saved - and make it work for all the people on our list.

So being of the mindset that I am - it is absolutely infuriating to me to turn on the news in the morning or evening and hear the media sending panic into the living rooms of the majority of America. I don't buy into this "Economic Crisis" business one bit - which might not be the popular opinion out there, but it's my own... and this is my blog. (KThanksBye)

It is only natural in a free market economy that we have ups and downs... there is no need to panic because the stock market is going to return to it's original status, and if we use history as our guide - next year it will be roughly 30% higher than it was before the dip in the market.

Anyway, I'm getting off my soapbox - but seriously between all the election commercials and the moaning about the economy... I just don't even care about turning the television on to find out if I'm going to be stuck in extra traffic in the mornings!

I had a very good workout today - 375 calories burned in 45 minutes on the treadmill. If I could get my shin splints to go away - things would be going really well... but of all the muscles being used to walk on the treadmill... my shins are the only things giving me fits.

Our small group situation has changed again - we had two couples sign up to be in our group - so we might be small, but we'll have a great time together. Our first meeting will be this Thursday, and will mainly consist of getting to know each other - then we'll start our Bible study next week.

I'm going to go spend my last few minutes before bed playing with my dog and relaxing - so I hope you all have a wonderful night too!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

October Birthday Extravaganza

After another day of birthday fun (unfortunately no pictures today), I find myself exhausted and not really ready to write much tonight. So - I'll share my day yesterday via pictures.

My two older sisters chatting with our Dad.

My niece, Brittany, who turned 11. She's a mighty crafty girl - she loves any sort of arts & crafts project!

My niece Megan holding my little sister, Gabby who just turned 5. She's quite the little Diva, her favorite gift was her new princess high heels - hands down.

This is the younger of my two nieces named Taylor who just turned 6. She's two months younger than the other Taylor. She's a perfect little doll who also loves a good craft project, and anything that comes in the American Girl doll collection.

My Dad, with my brother-in-law (Robert) hanging out with my little brother, Josh who just turned 6 as well. He's ALL boy - enjoying all things Star Wars, Ben-10, and several other things that I don't even understand.

My step-mother, Lynne who celebrated a birthday as well. I won't give you the age, because I don't know if she'd appreciate it... but let me just tell you she looks fantastic for her age!

This is my eldest niece, Megan, who is 12 going on 18 - she's a wonderful volleyball player... and she is just about taller than everyone in the family other than her Dad.

Joshy is enjoying his new toys in this picture - looking cuter than ever!

All of the 6 birthday peeps - the final addition is my brother-in-law, Kevin who is a wonderful father... and an avid hunter. My Dad is holding Gabby up because she's not quite tall enough on her own.

Here they all take the opportunity to blow out their candle from the collective birthday cake. My Dad had to help Gabby because she couldn't reach.

That is a pictorial view of my day yesterday, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sleepy

You guys, I just got in from the big family birthday party with 6 guests of honor. Out of our family of 13 - 6 have birthdays in October! We had a great time, and as always it was certainly an adventure... but it's always fun to hang out with everyone and see all the kids.

I've got a ton of pictures to share with you guys, but not tonight. I've got more opportunities for pictures tomorrow - so I thought I'd just wait. Besides that - I'm exhausted and ready for bed... so I'm popping by to tell you that I'm hanging in there... but am not long for the rest of the day... I feel that as soon as my head hits to pillow - I'm out! (unless it's freezing - then I'll go through my 10 minutes of shivering and trying to warm up my side of the bed!)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Great Night

Tonight we had our first small group meeting of this semester. If you've been reading here for a while, I mentioned before the hurricane that John and I were going to lead a group - well that didn't workout and we've decided to join another group.

I was a little unsure about how we were going to fit in because we are quite a bit younger than the other members of the group we chose... but once again I was wrong. There is just something about John and I that makes us fit in so well with any group from our church.

The meeting was a lot of fun too - it was a "get to know you" session tonight, but for the first time in my ENTIRE life...I actually enjoyed the ice-breaker activity. Our leader, Don, gave us each a large sheet of paper off of one of those flip-charts that you'd see used in a corporate meeting. He asked us to section it into 4 sections, and use it to draw a "flag" of different parts of our life. (For some reason I kept calling it a map, but whatever.)

The four sections were Family, Spiritual Journey, Hobbies/Interests, and finally Most Embarrassing Moment/Scariest Moment. This lead to some funny drawings, and even funnier stories when we all got up to present our flags to the group.

We will be hanging out with them every Friday night from now until the beginning of December, and I think this is going to be a lot of fun! (Renee - you and K should think about coming... it really is a GREAT group!) (Jen B. - you too if you haven't joined another group.)

For now though, I'm headed off to bed... its going to be an action packed weekend with the big Birthday Extravaganza tomorrow, and then another one on Sunday afternoon too. I think that means that you'll be getting some great posts with pictures as soon as I can catch up and upload them to the computer!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Better Days

Today has been a MUCH better day compared to yesterday. Work was absolutely better today, especially being that I feel a little bit vindicated because the problems yesterday were not really my fault. There seemed to be a lack of communication on a different level of the project than mine... so at least I have some peace of mind that I haven't been working on something in vain for the last two weeks.

Since I was hysterical mess last night - I skipped my workout, but picked back up today and even challenged myself harder... I'm a little more sore tonight after the workout, but overall feel really good about picking back up where I left off.

It makes me wonder if a 2 days then one break schedule might be the best for me... that would put me at 5 workouts for the week, and if for some reason I got in a 6th - I'd be happy with that. Basically, I'd like to push myself to workout both days on the weekend because I should have the time in most instances.

John got upset with me tonight because I've weighed myself pretty much everyday since I started working out again - which means it's only a matter of time before I start being too hard on myself again... so I'll try my best to cut back. So far my weight hasn't changed... so I'm trying to be patient with the process. It's such a hard line to walk to pay enough attention, but not get obsessed with the numbers.

Above all else - I've got to keep up with working out and hope that even if the changes in my total weight are subtle... hopefully I'll notice it in my clothes after a few weeks.

I was just told this week about my Mom's family having a big 80th birthday party for my grandmother on December 20th... and I would be so thrilled to buy my dress in an 18 or 16 or (shriek!) 14! A girl can only be diligent and pray that the hard work will pay off in the end. I do know deep down that regardless of what size my dress is - I'm still light years ahead of where I was last year.

Last year, I would have been stuck with the two or three outfit choices at The Avenue or Lane Bryant, but this year the possibilities are much more open for me. The smaller I get the more open the opportunities for shopping become... it's almost overwhelming. It makes shopping more fun, but at the same time it's weird to have new choices out there.

What I mean by that is that for the last 15 years or more of my life - I've pretty much shopped exclusively at Lane Bryant, and while that stunk - there was safety in it too. I never had options so if they didn't have what I was looking for... I didn't spend the money... now there are fewer times when I have a situation like that - so it could be easy for a girl to go nuts.

I don't know - I think sometimes change is just hard.

Okay - so as I sit here writing this post... John is playing around with his guitar... so from the peanut gallery - this is what I'm hearing:

My honey is a blogging fool...
my honey is a blogging fool...
my honey is a blogging fool...
my honey is a blogging fool...
She types like a maniac...
she types like a maniac...
she types like a maniac...
she types like a maniac...
My honey is a blogging fool.

Oh ya'll, it's never dull around here!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tribute

I'm pretty emotionally and physically drained today, so I'm just going to give you a small snippet of what's going on in my head tonight.

You guys, I have the most amazing husband. Today he has really rolled with the punches and I love him so much for that.... lets see... last night I completely forgot to set our alarm - so we woke up an hour late this morning.

Somehow we made it into the car within 20 minutes, and were off to work...

This evening, I had a minor breakdown about some drama from the office - he hung in there with my crying mess of a self, and helped give me some suggested solutions to fix the problem.

In the course of this insane day - I forgot to pull out dinner, so he ordered us take out and went into the restaurant to get it for us...

It's the simple things, people. I've never found my husband more cute than the other night when he fixed me a glass of tea (just how I like it - with 2 splenda packets) without me even asking.

I told him that was the most attractive thing he's done in the last week, and he thought it was funny. I'm so not kidding - send me roses, buy me gifts... yes those are great, but help me around the house without asking... and that's better than all the roses in Texas!

I love you Honey - thanks for rolling with the punches today.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Work That Body

Last night started my newest workout regimen, and you guys - I really liked it. Could it be the treadmill rocked, possibly? What's not to love... preprogramed workout, fan, speakers that hook directly into my Ipod - I'm thinking that if there was a perfect workout machine... this might be it!

The preprogramed workout was good - I was able to keep up, and I ran through it twice. It's a 20 minute routine that changes either the speed or incline every minute... so for part of the time you're walking faster and other portions of the time you're walking slower but uphill.

I definitely felt the burn, and felt some gunk that had built up in my lungs being released (was that to graphic?)... but overall it felt great!

I was equally amazed at the amount of stuff I got done last night - we got home at 5, I worked out until shortly after 6... cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, did some laundry... and was done with everything by 7:30!

I'm actually looking forward to getting home and getting back on the machine... I think tonight I'm going to do my own thing with it - and not do the preset workout - I think that I can do it, but we'll see if I burn more or less calories along the way.

I am working really hard this week - so hopefully we'll see some movement at my weekly weigh in, but then again - you never know. Eventually it has to start coming down though!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Habit Forming

First of all, a note to my readers that use Blogger - please click on the right side of the page and become "Followers" of my blog - I'd love to see who you are and make sure that I'm reading your blogs as well. KThanksBye

Last night, John and I went to a class at our church on gaining spiritual maturity. By spiritual maturity - they mean learning how to pray, how to have quiet time with God, the meaning of a tithe, and what fellowship really looks like.

Part of our curriculum looked at what it means to form a habit, and since that is such a present topic in my life - I wanted to share some of the ideas with you. I think these apply equally whether you're building habits around your faith, eating, or exercise.

In some cases there will be a Bible verse that ties back to the ideas presented: very cool! I'm linking to the New Living Translation wording in my Bible references.

How to Start and Maintain Good Habits
Step One: Desire
  • You must start with a strong desire.
  • You must be internally motivated.
  • External motivations don't last.
  • If you start only half-heartedly, you will never make it to the success point.

Step Two: Decide

  • Begin right NOW!
  • Don't wait.
  • Don't procrastinate.
  • You don't slide into a new habit.
  • "One of these days" never arrives.
  • You must have a starting point.
  • It's easier to break a bad habit today than it will be tomorrow! (Eccl. 11:4)

Step Three: Declare

  • Announce your intentions publicly.
  • Make a covenant or resolution.
  • The power of a vow is awesome. (Ps. 76:11)
  • It is particularly powerful if you put your commitment in writing.

Step Four: Determine

  • Never allow an exception until the new habit is securely rooted in your life.
  • Each lapse will be fatal.
  • A single slip unwinds many turns at first.
  • Continuity and success at the start is essential.
  • Never be swayed by "just this once."
  • The act of yielding weakens the will and reinforces your lack of self-control.
  • It takes 3 weeks to become comfortable with a new habit and it takes another 3-4 weeks (doing it daily) for it to become a part of your life. *** This is the one that struck me... it takes roughly 7 weeks to form a habit!!

Step Five: Just Do It

  • Whenever you feel the slightest urge or prompting to practice this new habit - DO IT THEN!!
  • Don't wait.
  • Seize every opportunity to reinforce your habit.
  • Those feelings will not last, so whenever you feel inclined to perform your new habit, do so!

Step Six: Double Up

  • Get a partner who will support you and encourage you. (For me this might take a village)
  • Find someone who is willing to hold you accountable and check up on you, especially in the early days before the habit is firmly rooted in your life. (Any takers? Again - a village is welcomed)

Step Seven: Depend on God

  • Rely on God's power to help you establish the habit.
  • Remember, Satan does not want you to develop habits that can help you grow spiritually and make you like Christ, so he will do all he can to tempt you, cause you to slip, or discourage you.
  • Pray!

As we went through this section of the class last night - I found myself thinking of both my spiritual journey in building my relationship with God through quiet time with him daily... but also my struggle to learn to love working out. Both begin this week!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Reflections

This morning - I had a shock... you guys - I went to put on my new jeans, and I was dumbfounded at the size of them. That might sound crazy, but when I picked them up they just looked so small... now I know they are still a size 20, which is big by any standards... but a year ago - what size was I wearing?! The last pair of jeans I bought were purchased before my surgery and I lived in them... and they were a size 32!

So yes, progress has been made - but when I kept looking at my legs in the car - they looked so small... but when I look at this picture (which I can only assume is how the rest of the world sees me) I don't see the same progress. Is that weird? Maybe so, but it's how I feel... I just don't see the same definition in my legs, and I see a potato suck on some stumps.

I'm so ready for the fat on my hips to go away and for my stomach to deflate some more. I guess I'm just irritated because I've been tracking my food intake for two weeks now, and keep my calories right around my daily goal - but in two weeks I've only gotten back to being 1 pound over my best weight. What's happening?!

Am I not eating enough? I'm afraid that when I get going on the treadmill my calorie count will dip even lower and I'll go into starvation mode. (I've got to get some pictures while I'm doing that... maybe I can get John to do that tomorrow.) I guess this is my crazy head playing games with me as it always does, but honestly... I'm starting to think that this is the best it's going to get... and if that's the case - what am I waiting for on the pregnancy thing?


I guess I'm just being emotional - and preparing for the worst because the last couple of months have been such a let down on the weight loss deal... but what else can I do - the walking will be good for me if nothing else... so pray for me ladies because I really would love to see 100 pounds gone by 2009. I've given up on seeing it before my 1 year anniversary - being that it's only a month and a couple of days away... and there's around 20 pounds to go...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

What a Day

I am 100% exhausted tonight as I sit down for the first time today. I left the house this morning at about 7:20, and didn't get home until around 5:30... it has certainly been a full day!

I started out taking pictures of our church service project today - our plan initially was to pick up hurricane debris in the area, but the city got to it just before we did. So instead, we went to the YMCA where we have services on Sunday - and handed out free water with an invitation to join us in the morning to all the folks there for soccer games.

We handed out 1,000 bottles of water today - but even more than that - we had a great time and shared our love for our community. I got lots of pictures of the day, and enjoyed spending time with the other members of our church family. I left there just after lunch, and headed on with the rest of my stops...

From there - I headed over to my new favorite place to shop - DressBarn... I love that store! The name is not the greatest, but the clothes are right up my alley! I promised a co-worker that I'd get some jeans this weekend because she said that I'm making her look bad because I don't dress casually everyday. I needed the jeans anyway because I'll be needing them in a couple of weeks when it starts getting cooler outside.

I then popped into Famous Footware because I needed some new walking shoes for the treadmill - I think the last time I bought tennis shoes was like 2 years ago - so it was time! Hopefully this will help keep me from getting sore feet with all the walking.

I got my nails done next - which I hadn't done since before I started working - and MAN they looked horrible!

I ran into PetsMart for some dog toys - well, because Mama got a full paycheck this week - and everyone in the Hawkins household has gotten a surprise this weekend!

My final stop for the day was Wal-Mart for some multi-purpose shopping... I needed groceries, vitamins, and birthday presents for the big extravaganza next weekend. Next Saturday we'll be celebrating the birthdays of - my little brother, Josh - my little sister, Gabby - my niece, Brittany - my niece, Taylor (I have two nieces named Taylor) - my step-mother, Lynne - my brother-in-law, Kevin, and finally my father-in-law, Jimmy! I can't handle any other birthdays in October! We will certainly be planning our family around NOT having a baby in the month of October...

So, here it is 7:00 on a Saturday and I'm ready for bed... I'm still nursing this sinus infection stuff - so I feel justified in going to bed early!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Another Award


The other Kim gave me a lovely award which is so nice! I am thrilled to get bloggy awards from time to time... before I get down to following the procedure for the award... I want to note an update to my "Worst Sister in the World" post. I called Gabby this morning, and in about 5 seconds I talked to her and she was off to play some more - so I feel sure that the therapy bills will not be a problem for me in the future. As John told me - at 5 years old - she only cares if you get her a gift and sing to her... so Gabby - a nice gift is coming your way at our family party next week!

The Kreative Blogger Award requires that you list 6 things that make you happy and pass it on to 6 other bloggers.

So, for me:
1. My wonderful husband of almost 7 years - who is my rock and my strength.
2. My family - who I love dearly.
3. My incredible friends - both actual and virtual.
4. My dogs - who always provide me with laughter and comfort.
5. My healthier body - which can do more now than I ever imagined... if I just push it.
6. A good book/magazine and a warm spot to just sit and retreat from the daily grind.

I award this to the following bloggers:

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Oh My Gosh

Ya'll! I am the absolute worst sister on the face of the planet... today is my little sister, Gabby's birthday... and I didn't get a chance to call her. (insert a sad face with a tear here)

It's not at all that I didn't remember - I thought about her all day, but didn't call because I was at work and she was probably at school... then when I was driving home - I was talking to John about some stuff I need him to teach me for work.

Then he had Worship Team practice tonight so I rushed and rushed to get dinner ready so he could eat before leaving... I sat down with the phone when he left... to call her of course, and an hour and a half later - I just woke up and she's surely in bed because it's 9:30 their time!

So yes, I'm the worst sister ever - and I can only hope that this doesn't cause her permanent psychological damage and expensive counseling in her teens and 20's.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Check this Out

You guys know how big of a fan I am of the Wii Fit... but look what is coming out on the 21st of October!! This will positively be on my Christmas List this year... it uses the Wii Fit Balance Board, and looks to be a great addition to my collection.





I absolutely love that they are starting to come out with video games that can incorporate our need to move - not only is it a great benefit to kids, but also to parents as well. It really does get my sense of competition moving when I'm playing against people... computer or otherwise.

In other news - the headache is still hanging in there... it's a dull pain now, but I'm beginning to think that it's self induced... maybe a symptom of feeling completely overwhelmed at work? Who knows... but it's real, and I'm not getting too far away from my bottle of rapid release Tylenol!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Here We Are Again

The headache is back again, and of course it's kicking my butt and taking names... I don't know what the deal is, but John is certainly being a trooper and is taking good care of me. I certainly hope that whatever it is that is causing the pain and suffering will evacuate my body tonight while I sleep.

I had big plans yesterday of telling you guys about my new obsession - recipes! I am on a constant quest to find new ideas to spruce up our dinner options, as well as my many meals during the day too.

While I'm recovering tonight - here is a few of my new recipe favorites:

Also a couple of other blogs that I've come to love:

Hopefully those will keep you entertained while I find a way to get myself well again.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Bleh

I had such great plans for tonight's post, but it is not to be tonight... an alien has taken over my body for the short term. I can't eat and just have a generally bad headache - so I'm keeping things short and sweet... which stinks!

While I'm recovering tonight, please take a moment and remember my friend Renee's family in your prayers... she lost her uncle about a month ago, and today her husband lost his grandfather. His grandfather was sick with cancer, but as anyone out there knows - it's never easy losing someone close to you.

I feel so bad for them, but am praying that God will show himself to them in this time and provide the strength they need to keep themselves moving forward. In the meantime - I hope that I will be able to help them through this in some way... because I love their family, and my heart aches for them right now.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Weekend Wrap-Up

Hi there my lovely internets! Another weekend as come and gone...already?! We've had a truly blissful weekend... yesterday with friends, and today relaxing and enjoying life.

We started our day at church which is always such a welcoming place - I can't say that I jumped out of bed this morning ready to go, but I was so glad that I did. I love the people at our church, and thank God for leading us to a place where we fit in so well.

Our church is doing a service project next week going to pick up debris from the hurricane that is still sitting in people's front yards. The city hasn't gotten around to everyone yet, so we're going to go out and fill a need in our community while we share God's love too.

After church we made a run to John's favorite store - Lowe's - to get some things we needed for the house. He put a dimmer in on our fan in the family room, and set up an automatic sprinkler for the front yard... and we got a new filter for our air system. We only have to change our air filter (there is only 1 for the whole house) every 6 months...

This project required me to face one of my fears... the attic. Now, I'm not so much afraid of the attic because of it being a creepy scary place... but more a fear of my clumsiness in combination with the ability to fall to a very painful thud. Well, the filter got changed this evening. I survived, and all is well.

John also cooked an AMAZING pork tenderloin in the crock-pot today as well... go here for pictures and the recipe. I'm telling ya'll this one is fabulous! I hit the jackpot on the husband market with his ability to cook, and find great new recipes on the internet.

In the meantime - all the laundry has been completed, a nap has been enjoyed, and I'm about to take off for a bath with this lovely product that I purchased yesterday...
Then off to bed... and the start of another week!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Under the Wire

This is the first opportunity I've had today to turn on the computer - it's been a very busy day, but a wonderfully fun one as well. I didn't get any pictures, but I've enjoyed time with the girls - and then a hysterically fun night with our favorite friends.

I don't know what it is about the four of us hanging out together, but I've never laughed that much in my life. I guess they are truly a gift from God because no one else has ever made a simple meal of fajitas and a board game so much fun before!

We played a game called The 80's game... which brings back a lot of memories, and of course singing... which leads to jokes and laughing.

Even the 2 year old hung in there with us until 11! She is a real trooper - I've never known a 2 year old to hang in there with people playing a board game before! Of course the good thing is that our house is kid prepared - especially for kids her age! (The funny thing though is that even though our toys are really for toddlers - the 6 year olds get just as big a kick out of them.)

I'm off to bed for the night so that I can "look alive" at church in the morning!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Nominated

Hi guys!

I've been nominated for a blog award!! You can go here to vote for my site (or click the link on the right side of the page), and help me try to win. You will have to register to vote on the site, but I'm totally worth it, right?!

There is also a "share" button with each page where you can send it to your friends and family to gain me more votes. After you vote - you can click the share button under the picture of my blog's cover page, and send an email to your friends. Please do that... I'd really love to use the prize money to help a charity - I'd have to think about which one I'd chose, but it would be something meaningful... that I'm passionate about - if you guys help me win my category - I'll write a beautiful post about where I chose to send the money and why.

In turn, I recommended Renee's blog too - so you can also vote for her - we're in different categories... so it's alright! :-)

That's about all I've got for today - tomorrow brings shopping with girlfriends, and possibly some couple hangout time... I'll try to snap some pictures if I can.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

What a Difference

What a difference 5 months makes!

Those of you that have been with me for a while on this blog know what sort of environment I used to work in, to a certain extent. I kept a lot of it filtered off the blog for fear of the blog taking a negative turn that would have driven you all away.

Truly in more ways than even I could imagine - being laid off on May 1st was a gift from God that I'll never truly be able to completely appreciate. I wouldn't have to put up with swallowing my pride in order to get through everyday at the office. The verbal abuse was more than anyone should ever have to deal with, and no pay check is worth it... but I digress.

I'm rounding the corner of my first month at my new job, and can I just tell you that it is SO different here. I find myself not knowing how to respond to the number of times I hear "Great Job" or "I appreciate you" throughout the day.

It's hard to describe in words what this feels like, but here is my attempt... there are animals out in the world that are abused and beaten for everything they do - hit on the nose for instance for whatever they do... and after a while the animal will flinch everytime you raise your hand. I feel like that has happened to me... I'm not sure how to react to things or proceed because I'm constantly waiting for the shoe to drop.

Earlier today, we all got an email from our CEO telling us that October is now "Casual Month" and we can all dress casually everyday in October. She said that it is a reward for our hard work during the recovery from Ike. This of course comes with needing to use your judgement if you have outside meetings and all, but what a refreshing action from a higher level manager!

I took this a step further though, and asked my direct supervisor if I could wear my pajamas. Here's how the conversation went:

Kim: "Soooo, since I don't have any outside meetings - Can I wear my pajamas to work everyday?"
Boss: "Do they have flowers or penguins on them? Because we don't allow flowers or penguins."
Kim: "No, no flowers or penguins... just stripes or polka dots."

I then left her office laughing.

Even though it's quite obvious that politically I am on a very different page - I'd have to say that if the worst of my problems at work are personal belief differences... I'm very lucky. (I might have to keep reminding myself of that over the next month... but this too shall pass, right?)

Won the Battle

I'm still working on the war...

It's just after 2 and time for a meal... so I headed over to the kitchen to warm up my edamame which I sprinkle a little soy sauce over to add some flavor. I walk into the kitchen only to find one of these staring me in the face!

So there I am with a major dilemma... soy beans or doughnuts... (I'm just keepin' it real) I won this battle today - I walked away quickly and reminded myself that I need the protein, I am tracking my food intake, and it just isn't worth it.

For that split second though - it sure was tempting... I really wish there was a mental (brain altering) aspect of weight loss surgery... but we have to fight these battles all our own. For today - in my war against my weight - I'm doing well!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Wrap Up

Another good day in terms of eating, water, and vitamin intake. No problems with snacking tonight because we stopped off at the outlet mall on the way home. John has a big presentation at work tomorrow, and needed some new clothes... so we picked up dinner on our way home... not the best choice calorie wise, but it'll be alright.

I'll be ordering the treadmill in the morning - I'll pull up some pictures and information to share tomorrow. For tonight, I think I'm going to go meditate or rest my eyes... whatever you want to call it - I just need some time with my eyes not focused on a computer screen.

On my Mind

Good Morning Internets!!

As I continue to struggle with my food demons... I've had something on my mind about children and stopping the cycle of unhealthy relationships with food. I saw this article this morning and it really helped me put some things in perspective.

Clearly having a family is front and center of my brain right now, and that got me thinking about the genetics of my kids having two obese parents. Certainly there are some genetic dispositions to weight problems that we can't control, but what are the things that we can control?

Is it possible to prevent your child from having the same food demons that you've developed over a lifetime? I honestly don't know, but I sure would live to be able to do that!

I would love to break free of the mindset of "food is love" and not reward my kids with food or any other parenting technique... I want them to have the best of what life has to offer (doesn't every parent?) and not deal with the social problems that come along with being overweight.

Naturally, this isn't a problem that I have to deal with right now - but is just something that pops into my head on a pretty regular basis as I think about the future.